The Lowdown Hub

How To Trust People Again After You've Been Hurt

Have you been betrayed by someone you loved so much or

someone you held so dearly?

Has their action restricted you from giving new people a space in your heart?

Are you finding it hard to move on?

Truly, it could be so difficult trying to move on and live life like the hurt never happened but, feelings like that draw you back from finding peace of mind.

You abstaining from new relationships might seem like the best thing to do but it ends up ruining important relationships, making you feel all alone, and eventually keeps reminding you of the past.

This is why you should take your experience off your neck and live life the way you had always wanted to. Doing this could be hard, no doubt, but it helps.

Let's see some simple ways that can help you get over the past and move on with life.

Here are some tips that can help you in your trust journey:

1. Always Put Yourself First

In your past relationships, you must have realized that you placed other people’s needs before yours and that made you vulnerable. This time, you would have to focus on the relationship you have with yourself by recognizing your insecurities and things that could draw you back. Do not ignore things that matter to you. Make informed decisions and channel your energy into the people that have your best interest at heart.

2. Talk About Your Expectations

What do you expect from this relationship? Do not build relationships with people who are not on the same page as you. When you spell out your expectations from a relationship you are about to start, if the person involved does not have the same vision as you, you will be able to see that clearly in their response and reaction.

3. Set and Communicate Your Boundaries

Let the new person understand the kind of behavior you find acceptable or unacceptable. You do not need to be rude when communicating your boundaries. You could chip it in between conversations and also give reasons why you feel the boundaries work for you. For instance, you could let them know that you don’t like being lied to or not being told the complete truth. You should also stick to your boundaries too.

4. Understand That Rebuilding Trust Takes Time

It takes time to get yourself back into trusting people after being hurt. More like you are starting a new phase all over again. Don’t let anyone pressure you into "getting over it". It takes time. Take all your time to rebuild trust for the right people. Have deep communication with the person you want to start a new relationship with. Communicate your fears and listen to your partner's own too.

5. Understand People’s Actions

Don’t ignore the things you consider as red flags in your relationship. Before you get so deep in the relationship, you must discuss the red flags you noticed, with the person involved. If the person is not willing to change and you know you can not deal with attitudes like that, it is better to not get all your hopes high in the relationship.

5. Be Honest About Your Feelings.

Don’t hide how you feel about a situation. You need to be very expressive and intentional about how you feel. You should put the other person’s emotions into consideration when expressing your feelings, not to the detriment of yours. For instance: If you feel romantically attached to someone, you should tell the person so you won’t get jealous when you see them with someone else.

Final Thoughts

No one said it is going to be easy to trust people after being betrayed, it takes a process. But be open towards accepting people back into your life.

If it seems like nothing is working and you still find it hard to interact with people, you should see a therapist to help you out.

Again, it takes time and effort, and no two journeys are the same. You will overcome.